Happy General Conference Weekend!

Be watching for more great quotes and printables.

 In honor of autism awareness month

My personal story…

Dear ASD, If I could look at you and tell it anything, I would have to say I have a love and hate relationship with you. You creep into my days, sometimes my nights and steal my son away. Sometimes you keep him from being able to understand himself and the world around him. You show up at inconvenient times and make me feel hopeless, alone and tired. I would tell autism about the times it gives me complete and utterly overwhelming anxiety to walk into places in fear of it showing its ugly face, but I fake it, smile & hide that I’m scared or sad. I hold back the tears. I turn down an invite to a picnic, playdate or party, because I am living in fear of judgement or worry for my child. I’d tell this diagnosis to go, go away and never return.

If I could speak to it, this is what I would say. My heart has often been broken many times over and over because of you. I live in a cycle of grieving and nobody that knows me is aware of my pain. My deep sharp heart wrenching pain. The connection I crave to have so deeply with my only son for years I felt were stolen from me, the words “I love you Mommy” – came much later. All of the pain fades away as I learn to accept what has been given to me, till the grief of reality comes rolling back in on another day. It’s not every day I feel this and for that I am GRATEFUL. It hasn’t taken over me. I won’t let it. It’s a daily, hour sometimes minute to minute battle because of what the world see it not for what it really is. I’ve had to learn, educate and advocate. I pray, seek for guidance and allow the tears because I’m real, this is real and this is just apart of my son, not ALL of my son.

If I could say one thing to it today, I’d say you don’t deserve to be capitalized ever, you don’t deserve my time or grief and you certainly don’t deserve my son…..not ONE ounce of him. He’s mine and I love all of who he is, spectrum or not. Gavin is very high functioning on the spectrum, he had hearing loss in the beginning of his little life, speech delay and probably is the most loving child I know. I prayed for him, pleaded to God for him, after having three miscarriages in one year. He was meant to be. I’ve fought for him day one and I’ll continue to do so. He loves swimming, he is verbal and his laughter is beyond contagious. He has a photographic memory. He doesn’t have any issues with textures of clothing or foods. He doesn’t flap his hands or have the obvious markers aka red flags to what autism looks like.

If anything I would want people to know that when thinking of autism do not stereotype a child, do not label them, please see them for them and their individual abilities not disabilities. Give them love and a task. There is a spectrum, a range for a reason and every child high or low function needs the love and support, especially the family. The hardest part about having a child on the spectrum is the lack of understanding that surrounds us, not Gavin. He is amazing, brilliant mind, loves to play with others and is soaring in education. He just so happens to be living with autism too. Today is autism awareness day, but please support those you know and love living with it not just today but everyday. ‪#‎autismawareness‬ ‪#‎LIUB‬‪#‎awesomenessofautism‬

Come support the new organization and chapter we have opened here in Arizona to support parents & families of all special needs. Workshops, Resources and much more. Thankful for a great team that has helped in this process. If we help ONE person not feel alone in their journey, then we have done our job. Here’s the group: https://www.facebook.com/azsuperheroes
Arizona Superheroes-AZ Easy to Love